


The Mutates: Grown Ups, Kind Of

by GoddessOfShitpost



Series: The Mutates [2]
Category: Marvel (Comics)
Genre: I MIGHT PUT GABBY ON HERE JUST TO MAKE THEM INTERACT, M/M, Multi, because ELLIE JUST ARRIVED, because this is all based on the COMICS, but - Freeform, can i PLEASE get some coochie, for zendaya, i cant make this a self insert, i need lesbians on here, might add ms michelle on here, no angst for now, soft, wade is 26 and peter is 24
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-07-20 16:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16141100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessOfShitpost/pseuds/GoddessOfShitpost
Summary: Who the FUCK said aging makes you wiser? THESE TWO ARE STILL DUMB..but with more trauma than ever! Mayhem and mayhaps sadness awaits.Click on me please if you were part of 3k who read that first one that was kinda.....dumb if you will. THANK YOU ANYWAY.Co-created by God and Deadpool.





	1. Sharing A Past... Begrudgingly

**Author's Note:**

> Miles is only 3 years younger than Peter in here! They’re still little brother-y but that’s just because of Pete. Also, fun fact, in my world, Liz and Miles know each other and Miles is like “hihi dumbass” ...liz and miles r actually cousins LMAO
> 
> ALSO…………..The Prestons exist but Wade is not acquainted

“Her name is Elizabeth Allan, and now, I don’t swear but truly...she’s fucking gorgeous. She’s smart, and funny and just all around AMAZING and is an intern at my dad’s company and UGH. Is it unprofessional when I’m technically the heir of said company? That’s like a whole secretary and boss trope and that sounds so...50 Shades of Grey and dear God I don’t want Tony to think tha--”

Miles and Peter’s voice call ended as a familiar woman walked in his office. “Mr. Parker? Oh!--” Liz gasped as Peter fumbled and clumsily let go of his phone. He caught it with a web-shooter, hidden from sight from behind his office table. “Ms-- Ms. Allan, how would I like to help you today? I mean, how would y-you..” Peter struggled. The brunette’s laugh was light and sounded like bells, or something romantic like that or whatever because Peter was in love. Some other romantic, cute sentences include: “Her ebony skin glowed in the golden rays of dusk.” Or Is that just creepy? “I’m sorry, sir. You said I was welcome any time in your office, I just thought...” She trailed off purposefully. Peter regained whatever little left dignity he had and returned to a slightly more professional air. “Yes, of course, Liz, What..did you come here for?” He cleared his throat, and she recovered just as quickly from the unusual scene before her. “Well, Mr. Stark is requesting for you upstairs, sir.” Tony did this every once and a while. Peter always remarked that it was a little unprincipled that he didn’t just schedule them since he was 26 and officially a businessman. Tony only deadpanned at him, very prominent little strands of grey hair falling onto his forehead. Old man. Peter sighed at the memory mirroring the situation now. “Did he say what about?” He asked and Liz scrunched her face (prettily, weirdly enough) trying to remember. “It was something about a Mary Jane, I believe, Mr. Parker.”

MJ? What in the hell?

“Uh, okay, tell him I’m on my way.”

Author didn’t use her weird omnipotence this time, she used my story and everything; from my mouth. She said I could tell this story by myself if I wanted to. 

Well, I actually asked her about it, because this is how I met the most precious thing in the history of everything. Not even in my life. Everyone loves her, and if you don’t, your opinion is wrong.

She’s been called a lot of things, sometimes even “Plot device to humanize Deadpool” by the writers (and/or YOU, true believers!) but she’s also Eleanor. Ellie. My daughter.

It was 9AM on a beautiful Sunday morning and I would be lying if I wasn’t ready to shoot whoever was knocking so loudly on my door.

_“WHAT?!” Wade pointed a gun blindly at whoever was fucking waking him up at this ungodly hour, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and his mask. He was a mess, truly. He never got up before 1PM and was barely doing any missions. For a mercenary of his acclaim, his usual clients were disappointed. Wade might seem like a lazy man, but if there’s one thing that got his blood pumping was offing somebody._

_One tiny thing though: He just had a revelation earlier that month that he didn’t have any friends._

_After being a soldier, getting engaged (to his ex-girlfriend from high school whom he dated again no less) getting cancer, overcoming it and all that-- VANESSA LEFT ME...because he was just, really, really ugly. Oh yeah, she was a mutant too. Last Wade heard she impersonated his EX’S girlfriend and THEY fucked?! What the hell, Nate?! _

_Well, yeah. He’s just about miserable._

_The dark skinned abuela on his doorstep probably had it worse though, since she didn’t even flinch looking down the barrel of his gun. The girl wrapped around her legs quietly gasped._

_“Wade fucking Wilson, you...you hijo de puta…” She had trouble speaking English, but Wade heard it loud and clear. She was pissed. He squinted at her, processing through the early morning haze. “Holy shi--”_

_“YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH, MATASTE A MI HIJA, M-MATASTE...¡ESTO ES TU CULPA!” [You killed my daughter, you killed...This is all your fault!] As she finished yelling, crying and punching weakly at his chest, Wade finally understood who it was._

_Her ex’s mom. Carmelita. They dated in high school, and only met after Vanessa when she wanted to reconnect._

_She died trying to protect a civillian from a speeding bullet while Wade got in a skirmish with one of his old enemies. He feels guilty for it, but he feels guilt for just about everything he does; there comes a time when it numbs down._

_Wade and Carmelita didn’t date for a long time, but she and him went way back. In a world like his, he didn’t even have anyone in his life that stayed after meeting a day before._

_“Look,” Wade’s tone was genuine, almost sorrowful as he tried to console the old woman basically screaming into his scarred body. “I really am sorry, Ms. Camacho. I...I’m sorry.” He couldn’t utter anything more, and the pain returned. He felt exhausted._

_Suddenly, she came off him, stone-cold once again. He feared she didn’t believe his sincerity. “T-This is not why I’m here. Wade,” She spoke with an accent, and the little girl that was once promptly ignored was brought forward. “This is your daughter, Eleanor.”_

_“Hi, Wade.”_

_Wade looked down and the guilt came over him like a tsunami. She had long, curly hair that was tied backwards. Her baby hairs covered her eyes slightly, but he could tell she had blue eyes, like his. Carmelita’s nose and smile, though. She looked about 7 or 8 years old._

_….Carmelita had her in high school and never told him._

_She was beautiful. Wade was already in love._

_“We need money.” The blunt statement almost hadn’t pulled back from Wade’s haze, but the little girl looking up at her grandmother did. “You...Oh, okay. Just, yeah.” He could hardly speak. He had a daughter, and she was adorable! “I’ll give you everything you need.” Wade knelt down to the chocolate girl’s height. She was pretty tall already. Ms. Camacho yanked her back. “Don’t. No puedes tocar a mi nieta.” [You are not allowed to touch my granddaughter] She was cold, but it was reasonable. The pressure in his heart that had once been lifted came back tenfold._

_“Right,” He came back up, forcing himself to tear his gaze away from the child. “When do I pay? Do you need to get inside?” He asked, convincing himself that it was okay and she was right. “No, and next month. Ten thousand dollars, also for her escuela.”_

_They left without a goodbye. The next month, Wade gave her a hundred thousand and a plush Deadpool he had made just for her._

“Hey, Dad, what’s up?” Peter walked in Tony’s office with a casual spring to his walk. Steve, who was unexpectedly (but not really) in his office, slightly judged his son in the manner of impropriety he had just exhibited. At the same time, his heart swelled for the adorableness, especially right before the news he was gonna hear. “Peter,” Tony spoke with a seriousness he had only donned after reaching 50. “We found Deadpool again.” Peter’s face fell, nervous. Every time he heard about Wade and his alter-ego, it was bad news. “What-- What is it?” Everything was catching him off guard today, but hearing about the blonde after everything that happened...it changed him.

After Cable permanently ‘fixed’ the timeline, everything went according to his word. Wade got cancer and was taken in by Weapon X. He got healing factors better than Wolverine himself, and also, a lot more unstable. It was everything Peter worried for. After the military, he tried to reconnect and all throughout his unexpected relationship with Vanessa, they remained close friends. After coming back from Weapon X though? He ignored Peter, basically. Ran after Vanessa like the little bitch I was. Peter heard at one point they tried to kill each other because Ness was a mutant or something?

All he knows for sure is that they drifted apart, and when Wade became full blown Deadpool, Peter found himself almost repulsed by the thought of being connected to him.

He couldn’t stop himself from caring though. Peter’s life constantly put him in significant situations, but it was definitely his first time altering time and space for one man. For love.

He couldn’t deny that.

He kinda hated it.

“He was found stealing from us, for a client, most probably.” Tony stated the obvious, but Wade had never once tried and touch Stark Industries. Anything, Stark/Rogers/Parker related, really. Yeah, you noticed how I didn’t mention Peter ONCE in my flashback? That’s because I’m also running away from those feelings!

Not that..Not that I have any.

(Maybe Neena told me about what they did and that really punched me right in the emotions.)  
“He...What do you want me to do about it?” Peter sounded just a bit more defiant than he wanted. The teenager jumped out. Steve and Tony exchanged a look before Steve answered for his husband. “You have to go after him, kid. He’s been all over New York lately and we don’t know why. Spider-Man hasn’t been seen in a while and...Well...” Steve could already catch the hesitance in Peter’s eyes. He hadn’t donned the suit often enough because, well, Miles was mostly doing it. Also, Peter was afraid of running into Wade. It’s not just because of feelings too. Once, they teamed up, and GOD, was he annoying. 

Coming from the mouthy Spider-man himself, I am hurt.

Tony knew his son wouldn’t just do it, but he’d hoped. They both knew Spider-man made Peter happy and vice versa. Peter not putting on the suit meant something was wrong.

“Alright.” Peter finally replied. He needed to face him again. Truth be told, he was curious.

Tony smiled brightly, walking over and patting his son on the back. Steve chuckled in relief. “Alright, kid, that’s what we’re talking about!” Man, Peter loved making his grumpy dad proud. If Tony smiled like that every time he put on the suit, he’d never take it off. “Look, that Mary-Jane thing wasn’t just a fake-out or something. She’s actually, well, she should be in the lobby by--” He looks down at his watch. “Oh, now! G’luck kid!” Tony pushed the dumbfounded boy out of his office, forcing him to walk himself to the elevator.

Wait, what was _MJ_ doing here?!


	2. Mary Jane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary Jane appears in Peter's life again with a proposal that will most certainly be refused, and Wade is problematic.
> 
> As always,  
> Chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone is gay lmao

Maybe it was a surprise to some that Mary Jane ended up being bisexual, but Peter definitely wasn't a part of said some. MJ joked that it was because he was bi too and it was a gaydar thing, but both of them knew how jealous she was of Peter and Gwen Stacy's relationship. For every reason you think a girl like her would be jealous, because Gwen was beautiful, smart, funny, adventurous and most about every other pleasant thing you could think of. MJ was damn pissed that that girl was just about as straight as an unbroken spine.

(Which, by the way, RECALL...in this fanfiction: NEVER HAPPENED!)

It doesn't matter now though. Mary Jane ended up being a very close friend to Peter following Gwen, and once again when Wade became Deadpool. MJ was the only constant in Peter's life.

Peter walked out of the elevator, facing a crowded lobby and somehow still managing to find his way to the redhead that stuck out in the bulk of the businessmen. As MJ came into vision, turned away from Peter, he noticed a girl clinging onto her arm. "Uh, MJ?" Peter called, and tapped her on the shoulder. 

MJ still looked as youthful and as energetic as ever, her body now not the same scrawny thing it was before though. She jumped on Peter and he reciprocated the embrace. The woman she was with standing awkwardly beside her still. "Oh, Peter! I haven't seen you in--" "4 months." Peter cut in. "Forever!" She still finished, and maybe to her, it made sense. 

Who the hell is the girl?

Hold on.

.....I think maybe the author put herself in the story.

MJ finally noticed how Peter and the stranger were eyeing each other. "Oh," MJ chuckled, nervously. "Right, this is Mai. She's my girlfriend. Mai, this is Peter. An old friend." Mai smiled and held a hand out. She had dark skin and dyed auburn hair, you are filled with a sense that she won't have much of a role in this story. Peter shook her very small hand, noticing the nails.

Hmm.

"I think you could've mentioned that you were friends with such a superhero-ey looking guy, MJ." Mai quipped, but all the same, Peter stiffened. Uh. No one could know that, right? He hasn't been Spider-Man in a year. MJ also noted how he reacted. She laughed it off, forcing him out of the paranoia. "Yeah, if only he didn't like dick so much, maybe." The smirk on her face eased him. "Uh," He rolled his eyes and pulled Mai in slightly. "Don't be fooled. She said old friend but we used to date."

"And then you went for guys and never came back!"

The conversation following was light, and everyone easily developed a good chemistry. They had nothing to worry about.

_2 days ago..._

"Weasel, I HAVE EVERYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!" Wade yelled into the phone, the other hand then trying to massage his forehead as if that would ebb any of the debt off him. "Well, whose fucking fault is that, Wade, huh?!" The man at the other end, his name was Weasel, and was Wade's personal assistant. He likes to call it something like arms dealer and all that, but same difference. "YOU were the one fucked up our first two high profile jobs this year and _YOU_ got all their friends to talk shit about OUR business on the network. **YOU** don't have a GODDAMN choice!"

It was hard to silence Wade, but he was having one of those bad streaks (bad fucking lives, in general) that really made even his hyperactive brain grow weary. 

After a few beats of the striking quietness, Weasel continued. "You want to keep paying for Ellie's schooling?"

"Of course, I do." Wade sighed. "Then you have to keep robbing the Starks," He paused, taking a moment to think. "It will get the Deadpool brand the publicity it needs, and we'll be back to doing mercenary jobs in no time! Come on, Wade. Work with me. What are you so afraid of?"

Wade dodged the question, like he dodged most things in his life. Hey! "Can't we rob literally anyone anywhere else?" He pleaded. "What, you mean the several business owned by Black Cat or the Kingpin? You really wanna get into that tussle?" Weasel retorted. Wade groaned. 

For about a whole 60 seconds. 

"EuuuGHGHGHGHeeeaaagghhh." It sounded like that.

"Fiine."

_Now. A cafe across Stark Tower._

"So, uh, what's with the surprise visit, MJ?" Peter prodded whilst the three of them waited for their food. Mai and MJ sat next to each other and Peter sat at the opposite end of the both. "Well, I'm working as a journalist now as you know and I was promoted to managing editor, pretty cool, right?" She spoke with her hands expressing her emotions with her. "Yeah, that is pretty neat. How's it been?" Pete smiled for her, one that still matched the boyish way he did in high school. "It's great, but, that's not exactly..What I'm here for." She said, slowly and looked at her girlfriend with worried eyes. Peter was confused. She was here for a favor. Mai nodded for encouragement. "You told me about Deadpool. Well, bragged, really, and I was hoping-" She took a breath. "I was hoping if, you could tell me about who he is, y'know? Just for an article. It'll be great!"

Peter was speechless.

"You," He started in the middle of processing his thoughts. "You want me to tell you who Deadpool is?" MJ cringed inwardly at how he worded it. Not because it sounded wrong, but because he knew what this meant for Peter. "Peter...It's just..People really seem to be interested on who this new rising costumed merc is, and I thought, well, I might have the inside story to it. You don't have to say his name, you know! You could just...tell his story. Maybe you could even help us catch this guy!" 

MJ explained and Peter knew she meant well. Peter knew she just wanted justice, information and a good article but,

Why was he so mad?

He and Wade hadn't spoken for 4 years.

What was his problem?

An explosion from across the street and the screams of panicked business-people all spilling into the street interrupted Peter's thinking. All three of them turned to the commotion. "I have to go."

Peter slipped in just a bit too much venom into it than he thought he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for three months of being dead i have no excuse sjksjsk

**Author's Note:**

> NOW........the next chapter is NOt gonna arrive in a pinch because this chapter was actually supposed to come out MUCH later but..........im impulsive sir


End file.
